Dumb things I’ve done this week….

Let me get this out there: I am a complete moron at times.  Throughout my day, I usually make an ass of myself 5-10 times.  AT LEAST.  That doesn’t count the other times no one has noticed what I have done or said, so really that number should be higher.  But whatever, it’s me and that’s how I roll.  I roll like a moron.  Anyway, here is a small list of dumb stuff I have done this week…and it’s only Wednesday....

1) I found a recipe on Pinterest for the most perfect sugar cookies a while back, and pinned it knowing it would come in handy someday.  Well, that day was last Sunday when I decided that I would make them for Christmas this year and be all Betty Crocker on my family’s ass.  I have never made cut-out sugar cookies before, but figured it can’t be that hard and would just go with it. I bought all the ingredients, came home, and went about my business.  For one, I don’t even own a dough roller so I had to improvise and use a water bottle.  Clever, I know.  Anyway, since I have never made these cookies I had no idea what I was doing and made half the batch too thin.  Awesome.  The recipe seriously made like a million cookies and half were too thin.  So after I was done frosting them all with homemade frosting (yeah, I did that), I tried one.  My first though was “meh”…  Could have been because I ate enough cookie dough to put me in a salmonella coma, I messed up the recipe, or the recipe was really not “the most perfect sugar cookie.”  Either way, I was not pleased.  They weren’t awful, but they were not what I was hoping for especially when the reviews on the recipe said they were “bakery quality.”  The next day at work I told a couple co-workers about my cookie making the night before, and was telling them how I didn’t care for them, how I am pretty sure I got salmonella poisoning, etc.  That night while making Kamden dinner I decided to try another cookie.  Much to my surprise they were pretty good!  I don’t know if it was because my stomach had recovered from all the cookie dough and sugar, or if this is the first time in the history of the world where fresh cookies are not better than day old cookies, but they were good.  So, with that said I brought those cookies to work today for our holiday feast after telling people that they were awful.  Merry Christmas!!!!

2) Speaking of our holiday feast, yesterday I convinced everyone that it would be funny if we all wore ugly Christmas sweaters to work today.  I even sent out an email to our department:

Hello Everyone!

For tomorrow’s holiday feast we are also welcomed to wear holiday attire.  Talking with a few people today, we thought it might be fun to wear ugly Christmas sweaters tomorrow to join in the spirit!  Hopefully we all have a sweater we can dig out of the back of the closet that will fit the part!

See you all tomorrow….hopefully looking a little something like this:

I sent this email thinking I still had an ugly sweater I wore a few years ago, but when I got home last night I couldn’t find it.  I could not show up today without wearing a sweater after I convinced my team to all wear one.  I would definitely look like a douche showing up all normal looking.  So, on my way to work this morning I took a pit-stop at Kohl’s and roamed around until I found something I could wear.  Here she is:

Yup, yours eyes are not tricking you.  That is a sweater with a picture of a dog wearing a sweater.  Apparently this is in fashion because I found it in the junior department at Kohl’s.  Also, I am pretty sure I still look like a douche wearing this damn sweater.

3) On Monday when I left work I stopped at the post office to mail off a present.  The post office is not on my normal route to pick up Kamden, so I took a different route to the sitter’s house.  A couple miles before the sitter’s house you can get on the highway to our house and without thinking I started turning on to the on-ramp to go home, without my son.  I realized what I was doing as I was jamming away to my music after it was too late to turn around.  There is not really a close exit I could take to turn around so I basically drove home and immediately turned around to pick up KB, and then drove home again.  Seriously, am I a robot?  Do I “bee-bop-boo-beep (explosion)” if I take a different path in my day? 

I am sure there are more moron moments for me this week I could list, but I think my mind is blocking them out in my favor.

Happy Hump Day!

 

Timmy the Elf

A couple years ago my dad sent me an elf as part of my Christmas present from him.  I am pretty sure the elf has been handed down a couple times, possibly from my Great Grandma Nana.  At the time, I really had no idea what to do with it and had not really heard of “elf on a shelf” so I just put it out as a funny decoration.  This was pre-kid, so we would have friends over after a night out and we would take pictures with said elf and just laugh at how ridiculous it was.  It would end up in our refrigerator, holding a knife in the knife block, watching us play baseball (quarters), riding a chicken, and so on. 

Enjoying a nice game of baseball

Fast forward to today.  This last year when my dad, stepmom, and brother came to visit from Arizona they saw the elf and we started a little game.  When my dad was here he hid the elf under my husband’s pillow with a note, in hopes to freak him out.  This turned into my husband sending the elf home with my dad, and my dad sending the elf back, etc.  As I was putting my brother’s birthday and Christmas gift together to send to him I figured it would be a good opportunity to send the elf back, with a note to Jack……

Day 21 - My Escape

Dear Jack,

I don’t know where to start… When I arrived back in Wisconsin I was really excited to see my family even though my previous experience wasn’t what most elves call a “merry time.”  I thought to myself, “Timmy, give them another shot.  Let’s make the most of this time we have together,” and to my disappointment that is not what happened.  As they opened the box I traveled in and first laid eyes on me I was expecting a warm welcome, but instead they threw me to the side like I was chopped liver.  Gross.  Have you ever seen chopped liver?  Here is a picture: 

Looks like dog food if you ask me.  Or, a pile of Rudolph’s turds.  As I lay on their kitchen counter, feeling helpless, all I could think about was my buddy Jack back in the warm state of Arizona.  I really missed you and knew that I had to make my way back to see you.  I played it cool the first couple days as these “humans” just went about their business, as if I didn’t exist.  Then the horror began….

One night, I heard the loudest screech and cries I have ever heard.  Louder than Santa’s snoring for sure and that is pretty loud.  I could see in the distance one of the human’s carrying a smaller version of a human, I think they are called a baaaaay-beeeeee?  I don’t know for sure, but these humans seem to always be giving this little mini human a lot of attention.  Anyway, this mini human, or baby, was so loud and water was shooting out if its eyes like crazy.  I am going to be honest here, Jack, when I tell you I was scared.  The loud screech almost made my ears explode.  I knew at this time I had to get out of there.  I could not imagine myself having to live the rest of my life wondering when this mini human baby would make these noises again.  It was like walking on broken candy canes, or should I say “pins and needles”…... This is when I began to devise a plan for escape. 

The next couple weeks were the longest in my entire life.  It was torture, Jack.  These humans would just come and go as if they had no idea who I was…minding their own business, making food for the “baby”, and ignoring me as my stomach growled in hunger with my throat as dry as cotton balls. Sometimes if I was desperate, I would lick the countertops in hopes there were leftover crumbs I could eat.  Sometimes I was lucky, and other times I was not so lucky.  Meanwhile, this mini human baby was always getting food and he would barely even eat it!!  He would throw the food on the ground, rub it in his hair, try to hide it in his chair, etc.  Then the big humans would just clean it up and throw it all away.  RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!!!  I often thought about throwing myself off the kitchen counter into the food on the floor from the mini human baby, but couldn’t bring myself to do it.  I am very afraid of heights.  Speaking of things I am afraid of, have you seen these pictures people keep posting on this computer-thingy???  The big humans would always look at these pictures in front of me.  It was if they were taunting me.  See below:

When have you ever seen such a tiny, beautiful, elf be put in such a horrible situation?  Since when does the elf have to clean the floor? I feel bad for this guy - his owners must be friends of my owners. 

And it gets even worse.  Everyone knows elves have a hard time looking at computers with their tiny eyes.  The above picture gave me migraines just looking at it!

This is what humans call a creative idea for elves!!!???  How about a nice stroll in the park, or a lovely spaghetti dinner?  Now that’s creative.  Not, “hey, let’s plan a pirate attack on the elf and really scare the crap out of him!!”

Now this is just silly.  We are elves people, not Santa Clause.  We don’t grow beards nor do we want to pretend we can.  Plus, mocking Santa is against the Elf policy put in place by Santa III, and going against that policy could lead to an elf being put on shoe making duty for at least 6 months.  Stinky!

Now this w0uldn’t be so bad for most elves, but not for me.  I am allergic to sugar.  If my skin even touches sugar I will swell up and look something like this:

This is not a good look for me.

This was my last straw.  I had to get out.  So, I waited for the right opportunity and days later, it finally came.  I heard one of the humans talking about your birthday and Christmas presents and how they would be sending you a package.  DING DING - there is my way out.  I knew I had to get in that package and that is what I did.  I watched the human put all your gifts and candy into the box and noticed there was an extra spot just big enough for me to creep in.  As the human turned away to grab something, I hopped into the box, and the human closed the box, not noticing a thing.  I bet at this point they don’t even know I am gone.  Unless they are bored again and try to make me ride the egg-laying chicken like a pony.  Sounds hilarious, but I am allergic to chickens.  This is what I looked like after that experience:

I feel like those guys with the green hair and I would get a long great.  We seem to have a lot in common…. I guess I will keep that in mind if things don’t work out staying with you.  I sure hope they do, though. 

Now that I am here, Jack, I really hope I can stay a while.  I think we will get along great if you can at least follow these simple rules: 1) Never feed me sugar or make me ride a chicken (allergic), 2) I must have at least 1 meal and unlimited amounts of eggnog and hot chocolate every day, 3) If you give me a bath, you must use marshmallow-scented soap bubbles - it’s the best for elf skin, 4) I can stay up as late as you want but I cannot be expected to wake up early.  I need at least 12 hours of sleep per night, and 5) In the evening, I like to practice my vocals for Christmas caroling so I ask that you do not interrupt me from the hours of 6pm to 8pm.

Merry Birthmas Jack!!!  I am so glad I am here to celebrate your month with you!  Oh, and congratulations on winning your school’s spelling bee!!  We are going to have so much fun!!!

 Love,

Timmy

TGIF!  Have a great weekend! :)

Finish the Sentence....Christmas Edition

It's been a while since I have participated in a link-up, but Jake and Holly are back at it again!  Thankfully this one is all about Christmas and I love Christmas.  A win-win in my book.  Here goes nothin'!

1. My favorite Christmas was....the year my aunt and mom arranged my grandparents’ light up deer in their front yard to make it look like one was mounting the other…  My grandparents’ street has a tradition where each house puts a cardinal with Christmas lights on it in their front yard, and a lot of people drive through their neighborhood to check it out.  We all started to realize that people were driving by extra slow in front of their house, but figured they just really liked my grandparents’ decorations.  I can’t remember how my grandparents found out about the “act” that was taking place in their front yard, but my grandma flipped a biscuit when she realized and we all learned a very valuable lesson that day.  Never mess with grandma’s sh*t!!! Sorry grandma….

Just kidding, my favorite Christmas was last year because it was Kamden’s first, and I have never felt such a sense of family as I did last year.  The holidays are much more fun and meaningful with KB here. J

2. The worst Christmas I had....was when my family thought it would be hilarious to give me TRAINING BRAS in my stocking for me to open in front of EVERYONE.  Along with that being super hilarious, was the fact that I never even thought I needed a bra (I was like 7 or 8 or something) and that was how I was told.  Yeah, that totally happened.  And also, what Santa brings a kid a training bra?  Probably the creepo Santa that works in the department store to support his boozing habit. Worst part was that my cousin, same age as me, was getting Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle figurines, candy, etc. in his stocking and all I was pulling out was training bra after training bra.  I die.

3. That one gift that made me scratch my head and say, "Hmmmm" was....training bras (see #2).  Side note: Are training bras a thing still?  Or are they just called sports bras now?

4. One year I....got a My Little Sister doll and my cousin got a My Little Buddy doll.  Anyone remember those?  I loved my doll but told my cousin that his doll was Chucky from Child’s Play.  He was so easy to mess with and totally believed me.  I am pretty sure he set that doll outside his bedroom every night with his door closed for at least 5 years.

5. I think the worst gift to give is....TRAINING BRAS!!!! Duh…

6. At Christmastime I typically....pretend that I am going to work out more and eat extra healthy to offset the holiday food consumption on Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve….but in reality I end up working out less and eating my weight in chocolate and eggnog.  That’s why leggings are a must around the holidays.  J

7. Typically, family Christmas....happens the weekend before Christmas (for my side).  It’s so hard to get everyone together when there are spouses that celebrate with their families, etc.  We decided celebrating the weekend before makes it easier on everyone so they are not hopping from house to house on Christmas day.

8. If I could change one thing about the Holiday season....it would be that we all had more time to spend with family.  I know things can get hectic and a lot of people can’t wait until all the madness is over, but I always feel like I am rushing from place to place to actually be able to enjoy myself.  So, employers just need to give everyone that week off and we would all be a little less batty.

9. It is so hard to buy for....my brother.  He’s 12 now and I have no idea what 12 year old boys like.  Plus, he lives in Arizona so I only see him maybe 2 times per year.  He is so smart and so mature that every gift I come across seems too childish for him.  Even gifts that I would personally love myself seem too childish.

10. My favorite Christmas tradition is....eggnog.  I love eggnog and the only time I get to drink it is at my grandparent’s house for Christmas.  It may be the only drink without alcohol in it that I am most excited about.  I love the stuff.  My grandma puts ice cream in hers.  MMMMmmmHmmmmm that stuff is yummy!

11. Santa, baby, bring me a....winning Mega Millions ticket!  I want to fly all of our asses out of this deathly cold weather and lay on a beach in the sun until we turn into beef jerky.

Tan Mom: Ruining beef jerky since 2012

One more week after tomorrow and I am off until after the new year.  I will make it to Christmas.....I will make it to Christmas......


A Rant

Most of the people that know me, know I have road rage.  “My name is Devon and I have been raging for 13 years.”  I get it, not everyone has a lead-foot like me….that’s fine.  And probably better for you that you don’t.  But when you can’t do a simple thing like turn on your blinker when you turn, or drive within the lines on the road, then we have issues. Or, when people pull out in front of me; causing me to slam on my breaks; only to go 10 miles under the speed limit.  FURY!!!!!  

Now let’s insert snow.  People seem to drive like they suddenly can’t reach the pedals or see over the steering wheel when there is snow on the ground.  PEOPLE: WE LIVE IN WISCONSIN!  THE SNOW HAPPENS EVERY.SINGLE.YEAR.  Nothing new here!  One would think that people who live in the Midwest would be used to driving in wintery conditions.  I would assume a majority of the people around here have lived in the Midwest long enough to know what to do and what not to when there is snow and ice on the roads.  But, no.  Every year is Winter Driving 101 and people just panic.

When it comes to my road rage, it really only applies to people driving.  However, last Tuesday I learned a whole new level of the rage.  PEDESTRIANS.  Want to know what not to do when you are the pedestrian walking by the road?  DON’T BLINDLY WALK OUT INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC WHEN THERE IS A LOT OF SNOW FALLING AND ICE EVERYWHERE.  Why would someone do that??  NO FREAKING CLUE.  But that did happen to me on Tuesday.  I was just getting off work and heading home.  The snow was falling like crazy and people were taking precaution and driving slow because of the visibility and ice on the roads.  It was really slippery.  I am pretty sure I heard there were like 500 accidents in the area that day…or was it 50?  I dunno, either way it was a lot.  Well, I am driving along at about 30 mph on a 4-lane street when this moron decides to just walk out into oncoming traffic without even looking to see if anyone was coming.  At this point I am probably about 30 feet away so I am thinking the person will have some pep in their step to make it across without getting hit.  NOPE.  That is not what the person did.  Right about now is when I start honking like a crazy woman and start trying to slow down.  The person is still not picking up speed and hasn’t looked in my direction at all.  Are they wearing headphones????  Do they not have any peripheral vision??  I DON’T KNOW, BUT I AM FREAKING OUT!!  There are cars in the lanes on both sides of me so I wouldn’t be able to swerve without hitting something or someone.  I start to really put on the breaks and my car starts sliding.  I am sliding straight at this person.  I honk even more obnoxiously to hopefully get their attention.  Doesn’t work.  I shit you not, I missed hitting this person by about 6 inches. This prompted me to roll my window down and yell, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!??” at the top of my lungs as I passed the person.  Still didn’t flinch.  WTF.  By now I can’t tell if the warm sensation in my pants is the seat warmer or my urine.  My rage level is at a 10 million.

 

On top of that craziness, I had to stop at the Walgreen’s drive-up to get buddy boy some eye drops because he had pink eye.  The Walgreens drive-up could be a whole other rant in itself, so I will spare you from more raging at this time.  It is the holidays, after all. 

All jokes and raging aside, I hope everyone travels safe this year and doesn’t have too many ding-bats to deal with on the road.

Why being a mom is the best...

~~ONE~~

Sure, 9+ months of being pregnant can really take its toll.  Your body changes, you have mood swings, you crave the weirdest concoctions, your face looks like you are going through puberty, your ankles resemble tree stumps, etc.  But knowing that you are growing a human being…A REAL LIVE HUMAN…in your belly is pretty amazing.  Plus, you get to feel every kick, roll, and hiccup from your little one while they’re in there. 

~~TWO~~

Speaking of being pregnant, BIRTH is a whole new story.  You can read about mine here.  Yes, it’s the most horrendous pain I have ever felt in my life, but I survived it and feel like a goddamn champion because of it.  For real.  And even better?  That can be your excuse for everything.  For example: “Hey babe, can you do the laundry?  No, you can’t?  You realize I birthed a human, right?”  Works like a charm.

~~THREE~~

You can set records for weight loss.  I lost about 20 pounds in one day after giving birth.  Sounds like a miracle to me.

~~FOUR~~

You get dibs on cuddle time.  I love cuddling with KB - it’s my most favorite thing ever.  I try to take advantage as much as I can because I know it won’t last forever.  Soon enough he will be stiff arming me when I go in for a hug and looking the other way when I talk to him in public.  This leads me to my next point…

~~FIVE~~

When those little babies grow up to be teens, or tweens, or whatever they are called these days, they may go through that phase of not wanting anything to do with you.  Whatever.  Just wait until I embarrass the shit out of them in public.  Don’t mess with your mom…she knows EVERYTHING about you.  Keep that in mind.

~~SIX~~

You get to be the one that they go to for comfort.  When they are having a bad day, fall down and scrape their knee - you are the one that they go to.  Being the one to make them feel better might be one of the best feelings ever.  And when just your little kiss can cure them from their pain?  Pretty cool.  You are basically a superhero.

~~SEVEN~~

It’s rewarding.  You made it through pregnancy, birth, and you are keeping your kids alive on the daily.  You’ve done your research, you are doing what you think is best for your kids, and holy crap its working!  Don’t get me wrong, every day is a constant challenge and a constant battle of what is right and wrong.  But at the end of the day, when you have done everything you could to provide meals on the table, a bed to sleep in, a roof over their head, you can sit back and relax and be thankful.  You can also drink wine….lots of wine. J

~~EIGHT~~

You can live vicariously through your kids.  Do you ever think back to your childhood and wish you could relive certain memories?  Like being so excited to open presents at Christmas?  Or, when you first learned how to ride a bike?  Or how about when you had your first sleepover with a friend?  Sure, I won’t be the one living out those memories this time around, but watching your kids get to do it seems like it would be pretty cool.  Plus, you can be the one to help plan these memories for your kids and make them even better than the memories you have to look back on.

~~NINE~~

You finally have an excuse to buy kid’s cereal like Cap’n Crunch and Lucky Charms.  Enough said.

~~TEN~~

Speaking of having excuses, you can also watch all the Disney movies and cartoons you want without being judged.

~~ELEVEN~~

You are the mom.  You love them, you adore them, and you put them before yourself in every aspect of your life.  All of that seems worth it with every smile you get, every cuddle on your shoulder, and every sparkle in their eye.  You love your kids to no end and they love you back.  It’s the most genuine love you can ever have.  And that right there is enough for a million lifetimes.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I think my list could go on for a while, but I hope you see my point.  Being a mom is by far the best thing I have ever done.  And this list isn’t just limited to moms - of course, dads can relate too. (Just not to #1, #2, and #3….I hope.)

Being a parent is awesome on so many levels and the journey of watching your kid grow brings so much love, humor, craziness, drama, etc.  I hope the parents out there can relate to this list a little.  If you are not a parent, I hope this makes you excited to be one someday.  And if you hate kids altogether, then go hug your cat. 

TGIF!  Have a great weekend! J 



Biker Baby

I got done with work early yesterday because I had to go in early for a call.  As I was driving to work I thought to myself, “Self, that extra 30 minutes at the end of today is going to be so nice because you won’t have to rush everywhere,”…..WRONG!  Seriously, one day, ONE DAY!!, I will be able to happily go about my way without being on a timeframe.  Sounds glorious.   Anyway, rant over. 

I left work and stopped at Walgreens because I was dead set on buying some facial paint crayons make-up (?) for Kamden’s costume.  A girl I work with was so awesome and let me borrow a Harley Davidson jacket and matching pants for Kamden to be a “biker baby.”  So I obviously thought drawing a goatee and tattoos on my son would be appropriate.  Well, by the time I got home from going to Walgreens, stopping at the post office, and picking up Kamden - I had about 10 minutes to get his goatee on his face, tattoos on his arms and fingers, and get him dressed to go pick up my husband.  (I had to pick him up because we FINALLY sold the Cougar yesterday…..HOLLA!!!)  This was my inspiration for KB’s costume:

I found this on Pinterest

I had to strap Kamden in his highchair because there was no way he was sitting still for his goatee.  I got out the little face-paint-crayon-thingy and started drawing his mustache.  Enter Kamden’s tongue.  Every brush of paint I would make on his upper lip, he would lick it off.  At first it was funny, but with any struggle, I started to sweat and that makes me angry and annoyed, ha.  As I would try to move the crayon to make my next mark he would then try to eat the crayon.  There was no winning this battle.  So I decided to just give up on the goatee and draw the word “MILK” across his knuckles.  He was not having that either.  At this point I looked at the clock and it was already the time I was supposed to be at my husband’s work to pick him up. Fail.  So, I just wiped off Kamden’s face and got him dressed.  I put a bandana on his head and he immediately ripped that off. Seriously KB.  I put it back on somehow and he left it….until he got into the car.  The entire ride to pick up my husband he was grunting and trying to pull off the bandana.  He grunted for 10 minutes straight (not gonna lie, I was laughing the entire car ride).  We picked up Bud and made our way to see my mom at work.

I love this picture so much

He looks like such a big boy here!

Then we went to my mother-in-law’s house for pizza and to see my nephews in their costumes.  After pizza, we made our last stop at my father-in-law’s house to see him and his fiancé.  By the time we got home it was after 8pm and Kamden desperately needed a bath.  So we bathed him.  You know how when dogs get a bath and then afterwards they run frantically all over the place to dry off?  Well that is my son.  It’s like someone laced his spaghetti -o’s with pixie sticks.  So after we calmed him down, we got him dressed, gave him his bottle, and put him to bed.  Normally he goes right down without a peep, but he must have still been riled up, because we could hear him talking for a while afterwards.  His jibber jabber is hilarious.   

And since yesterday was Halloween, we sold the Cougar, and football was on, we decided to have a couple drinks.  We also stayed up too late because we watched American Horror Story that we had recorded from earlier this week.  I seriously cannot get enough of that show!

I am looking forward to a relaxing weekend with no set plans other than a possible lunch or dinner on Saturday with family.  I am trying to convince my husband to paint the living room on Saturday night so we will see how that goes.  He said he never wants to hear the word “paint” again so I told him all we need to do is freaking paint this weekend and we can move on then!!!!  TGIF!

Peace out!

Weekend Recap (a day late)

Last weekend Kamden and I made the trip to Minnesota to visit my grandma, my aunt Sassy (her real name is Lee Anne), my cousin Connor, my aunt Lisa, and my aunt Tracey.  Originally I was going back for my 10 Year High School Reunion but decided that I would rather spend time with my family.  Also, my husband couldn’t make it back home with me and there was no way I was showing up to that thing alone. J 

I had such a good time with my family and was really glad I made the trip back.  Even though my grandpa, uncles, and cousins were all away hunting that weekend, it was fun to have some girl time (with a side of boy time with Kamden and my cousin Connor J).  We spent most of the weekend just hanging out at my grandma’s house.  Since my family wasn’t able to make it for Kamden’s birthday party a few weeks ago, they had presents waiting for him to open.  It was fun to see him with his new toys because he is at the age where he is starting to understand how certain things work.  To see him make the connection was pretty cool and fun to watch.  Also, Kamden was so cute to my grandma.  With only being able to see her every month or so I was hoping he would not be shy, and he wasn’t.  In no longer than 5 minutes of seeing her, he walked up to her and put his head on her shoulder.  Totally melts my heart.  He is so sweet.  I could tell he had a great time being with everyone and running around like a mad man.  J  I still am in shock that he is walking.  He still has the wobble in his step, but every day he is getting better (and faster). 

Saturday night we rented The Heat and Mama.  My grandma and I love scary movies and are probably really the only ones in our family that do.  When I was younger my grandma actually let me watch scary movies like Cujo, Pet Semetary (I know how to spell cemetery, promise), and Child’s Play.  I was probably 4 or 5 years old at the time and was never scared of these movies.  So that was our thing.  My cousin Michael on the other hand, was not a fan of scary movies at all.  I used that to my advantage A LOT to scare the crap out of him on a daily basis growing up. J  Anyway, we watched The Heat first with everyone and it was seriously hilarious.  I want to watch it again.  After that movie, my aunt Sassy and cousin Connor went home along with my aunt Tracey.  My grandma went to bed shortly after we started Mama because she had already seen it, and my aunt Lisa and I watched it.  It wasn’t really scary at all and had a decent story line, but the end was super cheesy.  A little disappointing.  After that movie I tried watching SNL and turned it off within 10 minutes.  Why is that show so lame at times???  I wish Kristen Wiig was still on the show.  She is my fave.  Anyway, I decided that I might as well just go to bed since KB would probably be up around 7/7:30am.  My grandma bought a crib for her spare room so that’s where Kamden and I stayed.  After being asleep for over an hour or so, I was woken up by the loudest, scariest, blood curdling, scream I have ever heard out of Kamden.  No lie, the hairs on my arms were standing straight up and my heart sank into my stomach.  I bolted out of bed and went to see what was wrong with KB and he was just laying in the crib screaming and crying.  So many thoughts ran through my head as to what could be wrong.  I picked him up and turned on the lamp by my bed as he screamed into my ear.  When the lights came on I noticed his eyes were still closed and he seemed to be half asleep still.  He screamed for about 5 minutes which seemed like an hour.  In the midst of his screams, he yelled “MAAAAAMAAAAAAA!!!!” and I immediately thought of the movie I had just watched and was freaked OUT!  I looked him over for any sort of rash, bruise, cut, bug bite - felt his head to see if he had a fever, and nothing was wrong that I could see.  I am pretty sure he had a nightmare or something because he calmed down and went right to back to sleep like nothing had happened.  I on the other hand, laid there listening to his baby snores, imagining “Mama” floating around my room and was creeped out.  Not cool KB, not cool.

The next morning we all met up for a pancake breakfast and afterwards I made the trip back to WI.  Luckily, as I was packing up to leave my grandma’s, my grandpa, uncles, and cousins were just getting back into town from their hunting trip.  It was nice to see them even though it was only for 20 minutes or so.  I am looking forward to making the trip back for Thanksgiving!  I love my family so much and just wish we were a little closer so that we could make the trip more often.  Maybe when I win the lottery on Wednesday night I will just buy a lake house in the middle of Owatonna and Wausau.  J

The rest of the weekend was spent watching football and cleaning.  Story of my life.  I am still bummed the Vikes couldn’t pull out a win against the Pack on Sunday night, but in the same breath, I am pretty pumped that the first play of the game was a kick return for a Vikings touchdown.  That play right there won me my fantasy football game last week.  J  So at least there’s that. 

On a complete random side note, when is it ever okay to talk on your cell phone, while on speaker, and walk around cube land at work?????  If you said never, you are correct.  It’s also extra annoying and creepy when the sounds coming out of the phone are just a deep voiced, man….breathing heavily….

Now for a phone dump:

Kamden has started putting his finger in his nose.  I see booger covered walls in my near future.

Home sick with Kamden last week

His "up to something" face :)

My cousin Noah when he was about 3 aka Kamden's doppleganger

Pouting through a traffic jam

Song love - I will be purchasing this CD

More song love

Silly boy

Peace out!