Thursday, December 5, 2013

A Rant

Most of the people that know me, know I have road rage.  “My name is Devon and I have been raging for 13 years.”  I get it, not everyone has a lead-foot like me….that’s fine.  And probably better for you that you don’t.  But when you can’t do a simple thing like turn on your blinker when you turn, or drive within the lines on the road, then we have issues. Or, when people pull out in front of me; causing me to slam on my breaks; only to go 10 miles under the speed limit.  FURY!!!!!  
Now let’s insert snow.  People seem to drive like they suddenly can’t reach the pedals or see over the steering wheel when there is snow on the ground.  PEOPLE: WE LIVE IN WISCONSIN!  THE SNOW HAPPENS EVERY.SINGLE.YEAR.  Nothing new here!  One would think that people who live in the Midwest would be used to driving in wintery conditions.  I would assume a majority of the people around here have lived in the Midwest long enough to know what to do and what not to when there is snow and ice on the roads.  But, no.  Every year is Winter Driving 101 and people just panic.
When it comes to my road rage, it really only applies to people driving.  However, last Tuesday I learned a whole new level of the rage.  PEDESTRIANS.  Want to know what not to do when you are the pedestrian walking by the road?  DON’T BLINDLY WALK OUT INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC WHEN THERE IS A LOT OF SNOW FALLING AND ICE EVERYWHERE.  Why would someone do that??  NO FREAKING CLUE.  But that did happen to me on Tuesday.  I was just getting off work and heading home.  The snow was falling like crazy and people were taking precaution and driving slow because of the visibility and ice on the roads.  It was really slippery.  I am pretty sure I heard there were like 500 accidents in the area that day…or was it 50?  I dunno, either way it was a lot.  Well, I am driving along at about 30 mph on a 4-lane street when this moron decides to just walk out into oncoming traffic without even looking to see if anyone was coming.  At this point I am probably about 30 feet away so I am thinking the person will have some pep in their step to make it across without getting hit.  NOPE.  That is not what the person did.  Right about now is when I start honking like a crazy woman and start trying to slow down.  The person is still not picking up speed and hasn’t looked in my direction at all.  Are they wearing headphones????  Do they not have any peripheral vision??  I DON’T KNOW, BUT I AM FREAKING OUT!!  There are cars in the lanes on both sides of me so I wouldn’t be able to swerve without hitting something or someone.  I start to really put on the breaks and my car starts sliding.  I am sliding straight at this person.  I honk even more obnoxiously to hopefully get their attention.  Doesn’t work.  I shit you not, I missed hitting this person by about 6 inches. This prompted me to roll my window down and yell, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!??” at the top of my lungs as I passed the person.  Still didn’t flinch.  WTF.  By now I can’t tell if the warm sensation in my pants is the seat warmer or my urine.  My rage level is at a 10 million.

On top of that craziness, I had to stop at the Walgreen’s drive-up to get buddy boy some eye drops because he had pink eye.  The Walgreens drive-up could be a whole other rant in itself, so I will spare you from more raging at this time.  It is the holidays, after all. 
All jokes and raging aside, I hope everyone travels safe this year and doesn’t have too many ding-bats to deal with on the road.

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