Wednesday, May 22, 2013

My name is Humpty, pronounced with an Umpty

Happy Hump Day!  I really have nothing in particular to write about today but I haven’t posted for a while so I figure I will throw something together and call it good. 

As you probably guessed, I did not win the Powerball.  I waited until Sunday morning to check to see if I won in hopes that I would catch the news and hear “the winning Powerball ticket was purchased in Wisconsin and is yet to be claimed…” immediately meaning that I was the winner.  Well that did not happen.  I didn’t even get 1 number right out of the 3 tickets I bought. Boo to the hoo.

Even though Saturday did not bring us our millions, it turned out to be a nice day because my husband and I went on our first ever motorcycle “ride.”  The MDA Ride for the Muscular Dystrophy Association is an annual ride that my father in law does and since my husband got his first motorcycle last summer we decided we had to go too.  My husband’s motorcycle does not have a back-rest yet, and since we would be traveling around 100 or so miles that day, I decided to ride with my father in law since his motorcycle is basically a giant recliner for me to kick back in.  Seriously, his bike is a really nice Harley (I don’t know much about motorcycles) that has a sweet back-rest.  It basically wraps around you, has seat warmers if needed, very padded and big for my big ole booty, and I can sit back there and not have to worry about hanging on for dear life.  WINNING!  And we can bump some music while we ride and my father in law likes the same music we do.  WINNING again! 

Our neighbors also ride and are very good friends with my father in law so we met there for breakfast along with about 15 other people and their bikes to get the day started.  I felt pretty cool badass all day traveling in a motorcycle gang and felt the need to throw out the peace sign to every motorcycle we passed.  It looked a little something like this:


We stopped at a few different bars along the way.  Since I was just a passenger I had a few beers and tried my first ever Moscow Mule.  HOLY delish!  I will now be investing in a copper mug so I can drink these bad boys more often.


The last bar we stopped at was freaking awesome.  Basically the owner of a construction company in the area has some land and decided to build a double-decker bar, a stage, fire pits, etc. and offer free food and beer to everyone on the MDA Ride.  The food was good, the beer was good (obvi) and it was a great time.  I wish we could have stayed there longer but we will definitely be coming back.

Here are some pictures from that day.  We had so much fun and I am really looking forward to the Harley Davidson 110th Anniversary ride in Milwaukee this Labor Day weekend.

My view on the ride

I was clearly in my element here

This old car was amongst the many items that reminded me of American Pickers

Here is the double-decker bar.  I can see why it's so popular up there....

Our group

Saturday night we went over to my sister in law’s house to grill out and celebrate my brother in law graduating nursing school.  We are all so proud of him!  Congrats Mike!!!

In other news, I have been doing pretty good with working out during the week and with eating during the week and I am officially 2 pounds away from my pre-preg weight!  I couldn’t believe my eyes when I weighed myself this last Monday morning and my weight was down.  I must have entered the Twilight Zone because that never, I repeat, NEVER, happens after the weekend.  I wanted to keep it rolling so I made a goal to get a run in every day this week and to watch what I eat as well.  MAYBE next Monday I will be at my pre-preg weight. 

Kamden has been getting so close to crawling!  He can army crawl, roll around like no other, pivot and change directions, etc. but doesn’t quite put it all together to officially crawl.  He did some weird move and started half crawling backwards, but that was about it.  I have a feeling it will be any day now and then I am not going to be able to sit down ever again.  I also have been avoiding the changing table because that boy is wild up there!  If he’s not constantly trying to roll onto his belly, he is trying to pull the mirror off the wall.  If he’s not doing that, he is trying to grab whatever is behind him.  Seriously, no matter what way I face him on there he wants whatever is behind him.  That kid can find the tag on anything in 2 seconds flat, for example the tag on his changing table pad.  It won’t even be visible and he will find it.  BOOF.  He has definitely been keeping me on my toes a lot more lately.  Also, he has been known to find a new sound to make and then repeatedly make it over and over again for weeks.  It used to be “ooooo” over and over again, which he still does from time to time, then it was just a flat out yell for a while, which he also still does, he even has a fake cough he likes to do.  Now, he has discovered how to gurgle.  He has been doing it constantly lately and it cracks me up every time.  He even figured out that it works best with a little formula in his mouth so he will finish up his bottle, have a little in his mouth, and then just go to town.  One last thing about this little man is that he cracks up every time he hears the word BOOFDA.  Hilarious.

Pretty sure he was yelling at me here

Welp, that’s all I have for now.  I am really looking forward to this 3 day weekend to relax a little, get some projects done around the house, and party a little for Memorial Day. 

See ya later suckas!

Thursday, May 16, 2013


On my way to work this morning, as I was staring directly into the sunlight because my shades are useless (I bought them for the looks and have regretted it ever since), I thought to myself “you should buy a Powerball today.”  After I answered myself with a “will do” the radio DJ chimed in and said “the Powerball jackpot is an estimated $475 million.”  Coincidence?  I think not.  What I DO think is that this means I am destined to be a Powerball winner.  With that said, I drove myself to the closest gas station.  I decided to let the machine pick the numbers, and I bought a ticket.  Don’t worry though, because I have numbers that I have come up with as well that I will be using to buy a second ticket later today or tomorrow.  I know, the chances of me winning are very slim….much like the odds of me getting to work on time, but I am an optimist and I think 2013 is the year of Devon.  Ever since I bought the ticket my mind keeps wandering to what I would do if I actually won.  Who I would tell first (other than my husband)?  Would I just up and leave work without saying anything or make up some crazy story as to why I can’t work anymore?  Would I throw a huge party and go on a 10 day bender? (probably not on the bender part, I have a baby - DUH!!!)  Many questions have rolled through my head this morning and I really want to answer them!
What would you do if you won?  Some say that they would HAVE to work because what else would they do?  Well I am going to start by telling you I am NOT one of those people.  I mean, who wants to sit all day at work while their millions are lonely and needing attention?  (Come here millions, I’ll hold you) Doesn’t sound right to me.  I could find plenty of things to keep me busy that do not have to do with working.  For example:
1)     Buy a huge house and then decorate it.  With all that money, this could take some time.  I would need to hire an interior designer, have multiple meetings about my “vision” for our house, then I would have to accompany our designer while he/she looks for furnishings, etc.  This is basically a full-time job in itself.  Maybe I would even try to hire that OCD designer from “Flipping Out” because as crazy as he is, he is REALLY good and I like his taste.  (I want 20% lemonade, 40% ice tea, and 40% Sprite.  If they don’t have Sprite, then I want 10% ice tea, 25% lemonade…..also, will you please talk to my cat, he is having a rough day?)  Then I would have to get Bud to be cool with how I want to decorate, which could also take some time.

2)    Hang out with Kamden.  I can never give him too many hugs or kisses and every time I am away from him, I wish I was with him.  So, taking care of him would take up most of my time.  Think of all the fun things we could do?  Go to the park, on walks, shopping, play games, etc.  That list is endless.

3)    Work out.  You know I would have my own gym and would be the most in-shape person ever if I had the time and money (umm yeah, okay - you still like beer and cheese).  I would work out daily, have a personal chef make all my meals, etc.  It would be awesome!!!  I would totally be on a show called the Real Housewives of Wisconsin.  Could you imagine?  Just cheese and beer everywhere, everything painted in green and gold (gross), and classy shopping trips to the Piggly Wiggly and Walmart.  Our ratings would clearly sky rocket. 

4)     Obviously I would have to go on shopping trips to NYC, Paris, Italy, Cali, etc.  I would definitely have to be up to speed with all the latest fashions.  And if I am going to Paris, I might as well make it worth my while and stay for a few weeks to really absorb the French culture.  Then while I am at it, I might as well just go on a European tour and visit the other countries like Germany, Poland (my home land!!!), Sweden, Greece, etc.  Gotta make the most of my trip! 
There is definitely much, much, more that I could list but this post would turn into a novel so I will stop here.  As you can see, I have thought a lot about myself winning the lottery.  It probably won’t happen but one can wish.  Now I must get back to my actual work that needs to be done while I laugh to myself about how this time next week I will be relaxing on a beach somewhere while I cuddle with my millions.

May the odds be ever in your favor

See ya later suckas!

Thursday, May 9, 2013


Another "Finish the Sentence" link-up hosted by Holly and Jake, yipee!  If you don't already stalk these blogs you should because they are hilarious!  These link-ups make me laugh and allow me to be random so I am always game.  So here goes....


Unlike my sibling(s) (that I love very much)....I am a grown adult.  My half brother was born my senior year of high school so we are 18 years apart.  He is 11 years old and lives in Arizona with my dad and stepmom.  This year he was the youngest kid in Arizona to ever go to the state spelling bee competition and took 10th place.  He took 2nd at his elementary school spelling bee and 1st at the regional spelling bee.  I am fairly certain he is a genius and will rule the world one day.

My best friend says...that I am pretty laid back.  It takes a lot for me to get riled up over something, but when I do the red face comes out and I get cray.  WATCH OUT.  Example: When I freaked out on a friend’s girlfriend in college for being a huge d-bag.  I seriously lost it.  That is probably the only time I have ever yelled at someone and she CLEARLY deserved it.

People call me...Devon, La Du, Devon La Du, Devo (whip it, whip it good!) (cool whhhip), D, DJ, Dawn Hurd, Kevin, De-VON, sir….there are many more.  When I was younger I used to want a nickname so bad and I really wanted it to be DJ just like DJ Tanner. My name is Devon Janelle after all.  I never really had one until my junior year of college, and then I exploded with nicknames.

I most often dream...about winning the lottery…pretty much on a daily basis.  The first thing I would do is pay off my ungodly amount of student loan debt, after hiring a lawyer and accountant of course.  Then I would pay off our house, cars, etc.  I would plan a trip for all my family and closest friends and pay for everything. After the trip I would buy the house we will live in forever - not too big, not too small, but it would have everything I would ever want in a house.  Examples: swimming pool, gym, hot tub, master bathroom with his and hers closets, my closet being basically another room in itself, theater, game room, bar area, tree house for KB, HUGE kitchen…..then I would wake up and wipe the drool off my face.

The best part of my when I pick up KB from the sitter after work.  The smile he gives me takes away all the crap magnet stress that work has caused me and makes everything all better again. 

I really don't understand...why people watch Honey Boo Boo.  I mean, if you really want to watch that crap, go to Walmart. (See below)

I get really annoyed...when I go to Walmart.  EVERY.TIME. People have no sense of what they are doing or where they are going when they are there, EVER!!!!  I can guarantee that, 1) someone will cut me off with their cart and 8 children, walk REAL slow blocking any way for me to get by them, causing me to get the red face, 2) someone will rip ass in the bread aisle and then act like nothing happened while I puke in my mouth, 3) someone will be wearing an outfit that is 10 sizes too small, and looks like they got it from a baby store in the 70s, and/or 4) I will pick the worst check-out lane and be stuck there for an extra 20 minutes while the flashing red light is beaming for someone to come fix whatever issue is going on at the register.  In the meantime, the person’s children will be screaming, crying, pooping, or all the above. 

There's nothing like a...cold shower after a long work out.  Like I have mentioned numerous times - I sweat like a beast.  If I work out and try to shower and get ready right afterwards there is no point, because I will continue to sweat, causing the need for another shower.  It’s ridic.  Maybe that’s why I can’t get myself to work out in the morning???? No, I am just le tired.

Lately, I can't get enough...Leine’s Summer Shandy.  I have been finding excuses to drink it all week long.  Oh, it’s Cinco de Mayo - I’ll take a Summer Shandy!  Oh, the weather is nice and the sun is out?  Let me celebrate by drinking a Summer Shandy!  What’s that you say - the sky is blue?  Well let me get my hands on a Summer Shandy!!  Tastes so good once it hits your lips!!!

One thing I am NOT is...on time with any sort of greeting card.  EVERY year I make a new year’s resolution to get my cards out on time and every year I fail.  What is wrong with me??  I mean, I buy them weeks in advance, and then they just sit there, I look at them daily, and then before I know it the holiday has passed, and I am sending out another late card.  It’s okay though, everyone in my family expects it at this point.  I think they would be really caught off guard if they actually got a card from me on time. 

I spent too much money on...celebrity gossip magazines.  Every time I go to the grocery store I get one.  Why not just get a subscription?  It would be much cheaper yet I still continue to buy one for $5/6 apiece.  Or, I could just look at E! online or US Weekly online for free. 

I want to to surf.  I have always wanted to learn and in my head I am really good.  I mean, I can wakeboard so I should be able to surf, no?  I have always been a fan of water sports and for some reason turn into a crazy ass and have no fear when it comes to getting pulled behind a boat on something.

If I ever met Will Ferrell, I would...probably spontaneously combust.  I would probably start throwing out quotes from his movies thinking I am hilarious, laughing like a crazy woman, and then get too excited and pass out. 

I can't stop...reading about the 3 women that were found in that house in Ohio that have been missing for 10+ years.  Thank God they are alive still!  I cannot imagine what they have gone through being trapped in that house and only wish that they can move on from this and continue their lives with the love of family and friends.  The whole story is mind boggling.

Never have I ever...liked coconuts.  I don’t like how they taste, how they smell, or anything.  YUCK!  Lotion, candles, and now coconut water?????  What has the world come to?  And don't get me started on Mound bars.  Never put that crap in my Halloween candy bag again!!!

Reese Witherspoon...can do no wrong.  I mean, have you not seen Man in the Moon?  Classic.  She said exactly what anyone else would have when she and her hubs got pulled over.  Now every time I get my buzz on I will be saying “do you know who I am???” to everyone I see - cab driver, bartender, friends, couch, pizza, lamp, etc.

Welp, that's all for now.  See ya later suckas!

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Half Marathon Recap

Well slap my ass and call me Sally, I survived my first half marathon!!!!!!  I still can’t believe I did it!  I went into the race with the mindset of just wanting to finish.  I had a goal to finish in 2 hours and 15 minutes which I felt would be a great start and enough to push myself a bit.  Well guess what!!??  I finished in 2 hours, 8 minutes, and 33 seconds!  I averaged a 9 minute and 40-some second mile.  I am in shock!  I did have the MapMyRun app on throughout the race so I had an idea of my splits but still, I just cannot believe it.  Going into the race I was nervous because my little hometown had just got pounded with 16 inches of snow a couple days before.  But the morning of the race it was 38 degrees, winds at 5-10 mph, and there was no rain (even though there was a 70% chance).  Originally I was hoping it would be warm out, but I think I did better in this weather because I sweat like a beast and the cool air really helped regulate things (mount up).  I was worried the running path would be icy or have snow in places, but the entire path and the roads connecting the paths were completely clear.  It was just glorious.  When the race started I had a lot of adrenalin pumping and I busted out like Lindsey Lohan escaping from rehab. 

My first 5 or so miles I ran in under 9 minutes per mile, which is too fast for me to maintain, so I had to drop it down a notch. 

I had my sweet playlist going and it really helped me truck along.  I seriously need music when I run otherwise I don’t do as well.  Sometimes it doesn’t even matter what kind of music it is, as long as I am digging it at the moment.  Fun Fact: In college when I started running I really liked the band Something Corporate.  They have a song called “Konstantine” that is REALLY long and REALLY slow, but I would listen to it every time I ran because I really liked it.  End of fun fact.

The route I ran was really nice.  It went along the river for the most part, winding through parks and a couple neighborhoods, a golf course, and then looped back around to end at the spot I started.  I was really surprised that no one around me walked…the entire race.  I really thought towards the end I would see some people walking but to my surprise everyone ran the race like a boss.  I wanted to walk a few times but the only times I did were when I grabbed water at the water stops.  I didn’t technically stop running, just slowed down enough to drink water.  I could not help but think of the Seinfeld episode when that dude running the NYC marathon grabs Kramer’s hot coffee instead of water and scorches himself.  I made sure to stay away from anyone holding a Styrofoam cup.

As I was nearing the end of the race I blasted my music, which was A$AP Rocky’s F*ckin Problems and that gave me the extra push I needed to finish.  I don’t know what it is about that song but I seriously feel like a boss when I hear it.  Makes me want to gold out my teeth, lower the Acura, add some spinners, and just roll through town REAL slow.  Maybe ghost ride the whip?
Anyway, the finish line was in near sight when I noticed my husband basically walking/galloping backwards so he could take pictures of me.  J  That totally made my day and helped me finish the race.  I just love him.  J 

When I crossed the finish line they announced my name which was pretty cool besides the fact that they pronounced my last name wrong.  Story of my life.  I immediately grabbed a bottle of water and chugged it like a mo fo.  I was so happy to be done, so happy I had finished, and so happy that I didn’t pass out along the way.  I have to say that my first half marathon was a success!  I say first because I might even do another one at the end of the summer.  I’ve got the itch!!!!!!

The only bad thing about the half marathon was the fact that I literally did not stop sweating until about 7pm that night.  No lie.  My family probably thinks I am going through menopause.  I probably stuck my head out of the sliding glass door of the deck about 100 times.  BOOFDA.
Like I mentioned in my previous post, all my family was in town that weekend so we all got together after the race for food and more food.  Here is a picture of all the grandchildren (and great grandchild) + Abby the pup, with my grandparents.   

I loved seeing my family and I was so happy we could all get together.  With our family being a little more spread out these days it’s rare when we are all in the same place at the same time.  I wish I could have stayed longer because the couple days I was in Minnesota just flew.  I can’t wait for us all to get together again and really hope it’s sooner than later. 
Also, my cousin Michael brought up the huge ass dog I was talking about in my last post, just like I predicted.  When talking about this a family member overheard us and said that the house we saw the dog at also had horses back then....almost made us second-guess ourselves but we still are certain that what we saw was a dog and not a horse.  That is our story and we are sticking to it!!!  And besides, why would they keep a horse in a cage on the side of their house???  Weird.
So, overall the weekend was a success.  We made it to Minnesota safely, I finished the half marathon, I replaced all the calories I burned with the delicious food my grandma made, I got to see ALL my cousins (on my mom’s side), Kamden was a very good boy all weekend, my muscles were only sore right after the race and a little the next day, and when we got back to Wisconsin it was 70 degrees and sunny.  We capped the weekend off with a few brews and some homemade nachos to celebrate Cinco de Mayo or as I like to call it, Cinco de Drinko!  Ole!
Welp, that’s all I have for now!
See ya later suckas!

Friday, May 3, 2013

Mish Mash I Was Taking A Bath....Wait, What?

I was just looking at my ole blog and noticed that other than the U.S., people living in Russia have viewed my blog the most.  I knew there was a reason why vodka was my drink of choice! 

Random, yes.  But I kind of find it amusing and this is my blog, so there.  Also, people in Russia are typically pretty badass which I clearly am, so I can see why they would want to read about my life.

Sidenote: If you google "Russia funny" and then click images you will be amused....very amused.

Anyway, I am getting antsy for my race tomorrow.  I finally downloaded music for my playlist, so that should get me pumped up.  And, I checked out the route I will be running in Owatonna and got kind of excited.  I will be running mostly along the river on the path but then it goes through some neighborhoods that some old friends of mine lived/used to live so I can reminisce as I try not to die run.  On another sidenote, speaking of the word "antsy," when you say the word "aunt" do you say it like you are talking about a bug - ant?  Or do you say it the correct way, ONT or how you would say flaunt, without the F and L?  I say it the correct way, and my husband says it the incorrect way.  :)  It's been a debate ever since I heard him refer to a family member by calling her a creepy bug.  Yes, ants are creepy.  (I don't like bugs)  Unless you are referring to this bug:

The only bug that brought me to tears for reasons other than scaring the complete crap out of me
I sometimes act like the grammar police or grammar wizard, until I realize I have made a grammatical error.  Then I pretend like it was a typo.  Anyway, I still think the way it's spelled should be a direct indicator of how it should be pronounced.  Just my 2 cents.

Onto the 3rd sidenote (jeeze, lay off the sidenotes), my cousin Michael is going to be in Owatonna when I visit this weekend!!!  I am pretty sure it's been almost 2 years since I have seen him last so I am pretty pumped.  He is only 9 months younger than me, and for years when we were younger it was just us 2.  We were the only grandchildren and we acted like brother and sister.  We fought, made fun of each other, competed with each other, laughed until we cried, got into trouble, etc.  We had a lot of fun growing up together but when we were in HS he moved away and since then we have not really lived in the same area.  He now lives in Cali so him being home does not happen often.  I am looking forward to catching up with him and for him to meet KB.  I am also fairly certain we will talk about the huge ass dog, a dog as big as a house, that we encountered when we were younger.  It gets brought up basically ever time we see each other now.  No one believes us, but we both remember vividly.  Seriously, biggest dog ever. 

Anyway, looking forward to a great weekend with family and to surviving my first 1/2 marathon in a city filled with snow!!!  (Did you watch the news last night because Owatonna was probably on it for all the snow they got)

See ya later suckas!

Thursday, May 2, 2013

How I Started Running & Throwback Thursday Pics

As I am approaching my first half marathon THIS Saturday, I have been thinking about how I started running in the first place.  I wasn't always a runner, and I am definitely not a great runner.  But I run, and at this point I kind of enjoy it (most of the time). 

In high school I played hockey up until my senior year of school.  I was decent but I worked really hard and enjoyed playing the game.  Hockey took up a lot of my time and by the time my senior year of high school rolled around, I was a little burned out and I really wanted to try other things while I could.  So I sat that year out and instead tried out for the school musical.  Yeah, I was a wannabe theater nerd, whatev.  I LOVED being in that musical, though.  Our school put on "Fiddler on the Roof" and I was Grandma Tzeitel.  It was AWESOME, not gonna lie.  I had a solo song that I had to sing in a "back from the dead" granny voice, and I totally killed it.  And that is where an actress was born.  Just kidding, but that is where my "I want to be an actress" bug came from.  But we all know how that turned out.  :)

Anyway, since I wasn't playing any sports, yet still eating like a 13 year old boy going through puberty, the weight started creeping on.  By that spring I noticed I had gained some weight, and decided that I needed to start running.  I knew nothing about running at all, other than it helped people lose weight.  At first, I would run about 15 minutes on the treadmill and then do a yoga VHS (yes a VHS - I am old).   But the weight started falling off (thanks to my teenage metabolism) and I kept getting better at running. 

After my senior year I went to college at Arizona State.  Hello warm weather and a lot of really good looking people.  It was definitely a culture shock coming from Minnesota but I loved it.  My dorm had a POOL!!!!  And there were palm trees everywhere!!!  That may or may not have been one of the deciding factors on going there.  :) 

How could I pass up living here????
I got a little self conscious and knew that I had to keep working out since I would be living off ramen noodles and pizza rolls.  So I started going to the gym on campus daily.  Again, I started running maybe 20-30 minutes at a time, but just kept upping how long I would be on the treadmill each time.  I eventually told myself that I wanted to work out for 60 minutes on the treadmill.  Whether I was walking, running, bouncing, whatever - I stayed on the treadmill for 60 minutes almost every day.  By the time my freshman year of college was over, I was running 6 miles in 60 minutes, 6-7 days/week.  I lost 15 pounds that year.  I was in the best shape of my life.  I loved it because I felt good, was in shape, and I actually enjoyed it.  I had gotten to a point where if I missed a day I felt weird. 

Now fast forward to today.  Since my freshman year of college a lot has happened.  I moved, graduated college, got married, had a baby, etc.  Life happens and I have not kept up running like I was able to in the past.  But running has always been there for me.  Whether I am running 1 time a week or 1 time a month, it has always been my go-to exercise.  For me, it's what is most effective to get me in shape, and to lose weight. 

Our Wedding - 2010
Kamden just a few minutes old :)
There is a thing about running, though, that has made me have a love/hate relationship with it.  When I love it, I really love it.  I love that I can go for a run, clear my head, sweat my a$$ off, and shoot for that runner's high.  I hate it when I haven't run for a couple weeks and when I start up again, it's like I start from square 1.  It's amazing at how fast you can get out of shape to run but how much work it takes to build back up to being a good runner again (whatever that is).  But in the end, the reward is always worth it.  I love the sense of accomplishment that comes with running a distance you never thought you could.  I love knowing that I worked my butt off that day.  So with that said, here's to running my 1/2 marathon this Saturday!  Hopefully I can find that runner's high and make it until the end of the 13.1 miles!!!!! 
This is currently what it looks like where I am running my 1/2 marathon this Saturday.  WTF!!!????? 13 inches of snow on May 2nd?????????????????????????????????????
Thanks to my aunt for the pic - got it off FB.
Okay, I am done talking about running.  Here is one of the best pictures of all time for Throwback Thursday:

My friend Adam and I decided that we were going to re-create every statue we saw on our Austria trip in HS.  There are PLENTY more where this came from! :)
Welp off to try and not cry about all the snow in Minnesota right now.  See ya later suckas!