Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Walmartians

I went to Walmart on my break today to get some groceries so that after work when I pick up KB we can head straight to Rib Mountain where I will jam another run in before the Wrut Run this Saturday.  Like every other trip to Walmart, this one was quite interesting.  There are a handful of occurrences that happen every single time I go there.  Case and point à someone shits their pants.  No lie - every time I go there I am overcome by the smell of shit.  It’s usually a kid with a dirty diaper, but more times than I would like to think about, it’s an adult minding their own business as if they didn’t just burn the nose hairs right out of my nostrils.  Occurrence number 2 (see what I did there?) à people aimlessly walk around as if they are the only ones in the store.  You know, the people that are looking at their list that just stop right in the middle of an isle when you are right behind them, causing you to either run your cart into their backside or take out a couple boxes of cereal.  Real fun.  And then they glare at you as if you are the one causing problems.  The nerve.   Occurrence number three à the every so friendly talkers.  Don’t get me wrong, I love a good ole convo with a stranger.  Only this time I was on my break and I didn’t have time to pretend I knew anything about Dungeons and Dragons.  See below:

So there you have it.  A run-down of my typical Walmart experience.  A couple honorable mentions would be the very popular mother screaming at her children, the cart with the wobbly wheel that I always seem to grab and not notice until I am too far away to get a different cart, and getting the red face after about 5 minutes of being in the store because I am usually on a mission and people be creeping like they have all the time in the world.  I am assuming I am not the only one that has these occurrences, so I am sure many of you can relate.  And since I was on my break and already running late, I got stuck in traffic for another 20 minutes because a semi decided to try and take a dip in the lake.  I don’t think anyone was hurt because when I crept by the scene of the accident the policeman was laughing….unless he is incredibly evil.  I guess I will never know (just read the news, idiot).  Anyway, guess what day it is tomorrow?????????
Red Face Out.

3 comments:

  1. Hump dayyy! Hahaha this cracked me up. I HATE going to Walmart in my hometown because A) you have to look decent because it's guaranteed you'll see someone you know (more than likely ex-boyfriend and his now wife, since I'm single) and B) every one flies their freak flag at Wally World.

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  2. LOL!! There is not enough Lumiday to get me to Walmart for the same reasons. :)

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    1. Ugh! Walmart always gives me the sweats but it's so much cheaper than the other grocery stores in my town. I should look into this Lumiday that you speak of!!! :)

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