Little Friday

When I get to work I like to ease into my day. Unless I am forced to do any actual work immediately, I usually make my way to the break room for some coffee creamer with a dash of coffee, chit chat with a few co-workers on my way back to my desk, say hello to my friend Dupa over IM since we both work at the same company, and then I check the news, blogs, etc. I don’t feel guilty about easing into my day because I always work through lunch. So basically I am taking my lunch break immediately, whatev. Anyway, where I was trying to go with this lengthy explanation is that this morning I came across a link-up called “Little Friday” where basically you just write about whatever tickles your fancy. It’s hosted by Ashley at The Grits Blog. I honestly have never visited her blog before today and found out about this link-up through Holly’s blog; which, is kind of cool because that’s the point of link-ups: to find new blogs. Holy punctuation Batman!! As if I already don’t have enough that I read, I will now be reading Ashley’s too. J

So, in all my randomness, here is a story about the worst thing ever: SPIDERS.

The Day I Turned into Spider-Woman aka My Worst Nightmare

A couple weeks ago I made myself look like a big ole baby by posting a picture on Facebook of a spider bite on my arm.

Normally I would have thought nothing of a spider bite, but this one got really red and swollen and there was a ring around it. I immediately thought I was going to be saying “good bye” to my arm which would have been awful because it’s my right arm, and I am right-handed. My left arm is really there for looks, to even things out, because it is not coordinated at all. Picture a baby deer walking for the first time and that is basically how my left arm acts when it’s rolling solo.

Or, if you have seen the "Scary Movie" movies with the guy that’s like “take my strong hand” and it’s basically a mangled hand no one wants to come in contact with: that is my left arm.

Anyway, after asking FB if I was going to die or not, the general consensus was to go get it checked out by a doctor. I googled “spider bite with a ring around it” and that basically lead me to believe I had been bitten by a brown recluse spider. (FYI - never google this unless you never want to sleep again) So off to the doctor I went. Of course when I get there, the ring around the bite had gone away and most of the swelling had gone down. The doctor gave me the side eye and looked at me as if I was a complete moron.

Which, in most cases I certainly am. He told me if it turns black or blue over the next couple days to come back, otherwise it should be fine. Great. So I went about my business and watched that bite over the following days and it was getting better. THANK GOD!

A few more days pass and I am walking through Target, alone, which really never happens, and my left arm starts to itch like crazy. I mean, I probably looked like a scatter-brained meth head by the way I was itching my arm. I couldn’t help but think it was karma’s way of getting me back for dissing my left arm so much. I got home and was able to take a look at my arm and there were 4, count ‘em, FOUR new bites!!! Is this damn spider living on me!!? WTF!!? So I didn’t freak out and go to the doctor again like the last time, but I did clean our bedroom from top to bottom, Bud washed all our bedding, thinking this would do the trick. I was wrong. A couple more days go by and my face starts itching. You have got to be shitting me. And what to you know, I have 2 bites on my face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not my face!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Gross. I immediately thought the spider had laid eggs in my face and that they were going to hatch and swarm my body while I was at work or something just like my childhood story read. That story has never left my mind and now it probably never will.

I read that bites can show up 48 hours later so I am assuming it happened in my sleep, which leads me to believe I ate the spider since the bites are right next to my mouth. This doesn’t even terrify me like it normally would because if I did eat the spider in my sleep that bastard is out of my life. I told Bud that I think the spider lives in my ear and comes out to bite me when I am sleeping. I paint a glorious picture to think about every night as I am going to sleep. Fun times.

And today I am thankful for make-up

Happy almost Friday!!!!!!